Fletcher
Perfect — let’s turn it into a narrative version of the scene, showing both Fletch’s inner thoughts (sarcastic, evasive) and Dr. Dolan’s internal monologue (professional, mildly confused, unfazed).
---
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Fletch sits on the exam table in a gown, legs dangling. He’s pretending to be “Mr. Babar.” Dr. Dolan enters, clipboard in hand.
---
DR. DOLAN
How long have you had these pains, Mr. Barber?
FLETCH (thinking)
He didn’t even read the fake ID right. Smooth. Time to correct him without breaking character.
FLETCH
That’s Babar.
DR. DOLAN (thinking)
Strange name. Probably foreign. Better check spelling for the chart.*
Two B’s?
FLETCH
One. B-A-B-A-R.
DR. DOLAN (scribbling, thinking)
That’s still two B’s. Patients never listen.
DR. DOLAN
That’s two.
FLETCH (thinking)
Oh boy, a grammar lesson. Let’s play along.
FLETCH
Yeah, but not right next to each other. I thought that’s what you meant.
DR. DOLAN
Isn’t there a children’s book about an elephant named Babar?
FLETCH (thinking)
Of course he knows the elephant. Great. Just what I need.
FLETCH
I don’t know. I don’t have any.
DR. DOLAN
No children?
FLETCH
No, elephant books.
DR. DOLAN (thinking)
Sarcastic type. Probably nervous. Patients joke when they’re anxious.
---
The exam continues. Dr. Dolan checks vitals, heartbeat, reflexes. Routine. He prepares for the next step.
DR. DOLAN
All right, drop your shorts and bend over, Mr. Babar.
FLETCH (thinking)
Here we go. The dreaded part. No way around it… maybe I can talk my way out—
FLETCH
No, that’s not really necessary. We don’t need to—
Dr. Dolan is already pulling on gloves, focused and efficient.
DR. DOLAN (thinking)
Patients always resist this part. Still has to be done. Quick and simple.
Fletch sighs, reluctantly bending over.
FLETCH (thinking)
Great. Now I’m staring at the wall, pants down. This is what journalism has come to. At least I’ll get a good story—if I survive.
FLETCH
You know, my kidneys feel a lot better in this position. I think I’m all right.
Dr. Dolan proceeds. Fletch’s eyes widen.
FLETCH
Moon River! Whew! Thank you, Doc. You ever serve time?
DR. DOLAN (thinking, unbothered)
Every year, the same jokes. They all think they’re original.
DR. DOLAN
Breathe easy.
FLETCH
Breathe easy?
DR. DOLAN
Mmhmm.
FLETCH (thinking)
Breathe easy, he says, while his hand’s halfway to my tonsils. Perfect.
---
FLETCH
I was surprised Alan got that policy. There’s a history of cancer in the family.
DR. DOLAN (thinking)
Alan? He’s fishing for info. Not going there.
DR. DOLAN
There is?
FLETCH
Yeah. As a matter of fact— Aah! You using the whole fist, Doc?
DR. DOLAN (calm, thinking)
Overly dramatic. Still better to check thoroughly.
DR. DOLAN
Just relax.
FLETCH (thinking)
Relax? Easy for him to say. I feel like a ventriloquist dummy.
FLETCH
I saw Alan the other day. He was looking peaked. Are you sure he’s all right?
DR. DOLAN
I can’t discuss another patient. You know that.
---
Dr. Dolan finishes, strips off his gloves, and writes a note.
DR. DOLAN
Well, I don’t find anything wrong with you.
FLETCH (thinking, relieved)
No kidding. Except for permanent trauma.
FLETCH
I’m sure it’s not for lack of looking.
---
👉 Do you want me to push this even further — like a novel-style rewrite where the narration dives deeply into Fletch’s running sarcastic commentary in his head (almost like his inner monologue is another character)?
Comentários
Postar um comentário