Fletcher

 Got it 👍 Here’s a cleaned-up, screenplay-style transcript of the Fletch doctor scene, formatted for clarity and flow:



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INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY


Fletch (posing as “Mr. Babar”) sits on the exam table wearing a hospital gown. Dr. Dolan enters with a clipboard.


DR. DOLAN

How long have you had these pains, Mr. Barber?


FLETCH

That’s Babar.


DR. DOLAN

Two B’s?


FLETCH

One. B-A-B-A-R.


DR. DOLAN

That’s two.


FLETCH

Yeah, but not right next to each other. I thought that’s what you meant.


DR. DOLAN

Isn’t there a children’s book about an elephant named Babar?


FLETCH

I don’t know. I don’t have any.


DR. DOLAN

No children?


FLETCH

No, elephant books.


The exam proceeds. Dr. Dolan checks Fletch’s vitals, then prepares for a more thorough exam.


DR. DOLAN

All right, drop your shorts and bend over, Mr. Babar.


FLETCH

No, that’s not really necessary. We don’t need to—


Dr. Dolan is already putting on gloves and lubing up. Fletch reluctantly bends over.


FLETCH

(awkwardly)

You know, my kidneys feel a lot better in this position. I think I’m all right.


Dr. Dolan performs the exam. Fletch grimaces.


FLETCH

Moon River! Whew! Thank you, Doc. You ever serve time?


DR. DOLAN

Breathe easy.


FLETCH

Breathe easy?


DR. DOLAN

Mmhmm.


FLETCH

I was surprised Alan got that policy. There’s a history of cancer in the family.


DR. DOLAN

There is?


FLETCH

Yeah. As a matter of fact— Aah! You using the whole fist, Doc?


DR. DOLAN

Just relax.


FLETCH

I saw Alan the other day. He was looking peaked. Are you sure he’s all right?


DR. DOLAN

I can’t discuss another patient. You know that.


Dr. Dolan finishes and removes his gloves.


DR. DOLAN

Well, I don’t find anything wrong with you.


FLETCH

I’m sure it’s not for lack of looking.



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Do you want me to also make this into a short, comedic “stage-play style” script (like something you could actually perform or read aloud as a skit)?


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