Caiso
Scene: College Party – Night
Tucker Max, a cocky, handsome blonde in a tight-fitting polo shirt, leans against a keg, casually sipping his beer. He scans the room, eyes glinting as he spots a thin brunette across the room. Just then, a heavier-set woman, tipsy and bold, walks up to him.
Fat Girl: “Hey there, handsome. You come here often?”
Tucker (smirking): “I mean... I guess. But you, you look like you came here straight from the barn. You sure you're not a pig in disguise?”
She stares at him, hurt flashing in her eyes.
Fat Girl (coldly): “You’re an asshole.”
Tucker (shrugging): “And you're still standing here. Weird.”
He struts off toward the brunette, leaving his beer on a nearby table. The fat girl glares after him, seething. She reaches into her purse, pulls out a small bottle of Visine eye drops, and empties it into his beer.
Fat Girl (muttering): “Enjoy the sh*tstorm, douchebag.”
Later that night – Tucker’s Hotel Room
Tucker and the thin brunette tumble into his hotel room, half-undressed and laughing. He’s still sipping from the same beer, now laced with eye drops.
Tucker (thinking): Man, this chick is hot. Beer, boobs, and no commitment? Perfect night.
They begin kissing on the bed. Suddenly, Tucker's stomach gurgles ominously.
Tucker (pausing): “Uh... hang on. I think my stomach's doing backflips.”
Brunette: “Me too, actually. I need the bathroom first!”
She darts into the bathroom. Seconds later, loud farts and explosive diarrhea echo through the door.
Tucker (groaning): “Jesus! What the hell are you doing in there? Wrestling a sewer pipe?”
Brunette (embarrassed): “It’s nothing! Just give me a second!”
Tucker (sarcastically): “It sounds like nothing. Turn on a fan or light a candle—my eyes are watering out here!”
More farting. More wet splashes. She finally opens the door, red-faced, and rushes past him.
Tucker (stepping in): “Oh no. Oh... no. You destroyed this place!”
The toilet is flooded, the floor soaked. Tucker’s stomach growls again—angrily this time.
Tucker (panicking internally): I can’t use this. I need another bathroom. Now.
Hotel Hallway – Minutes Later
Tucker, hunched over, holding his stomach, runs barefoot and shirtless through the empty hallway. The front desk is unmanned.
Tucker (yelling): “Hello? Anyone? Where’s the bathroom?!”
No answer. He doubles over as cramps hit him again.
Tucker (thinking): Oh God. This is happening. I’m going to sht myself in a La Quinta Inn.*
He spots a bathroom sign at the far end of the hallway. He bolts toward it, but halfway there—
Tucker: “No, no, NO!”
It’s too late. His bowels give up. Liquid shit runs down his legs, puddling in the hallway.
Tucker (moaning): “Aghhh! What the hell was in that beer?!”
He reaches the bathroom, kicks open the door, strips off all his clothes, and explodes into the toilet.
Tucker (screaming): “Oh God! I’m dying! This is it!”
He finishes one toilet, but it floods. He shuffles to the next stall, still going. Minutes later, he leans back, trembling, eyes bloodshot, face pale.
Tucker (thinking): Sweet merciful Jesus. I survived.
He looks for toilet paper. None.
Tucker (sighing): “Of course. No paper. Why would there be?”
He peels off his socks, wipes himself, and limps naked back to his room.
Hotel Room – Later
Back in his room, Tucker slumps into a chair, filthy, humiliated, and suddenly very sober.
Tucker (realizing): “That fat chick. She poisoned me…”
He stares into the distance, broken.
Tucker: “...Hope they serve beer in Hell.”
Narration (ending):
That night, Tucker Max learned a lesson the hard way—literally. After the most degrading night of his life, something changed in him. Maybe it was the loss of dignity. Maybe it was the eye drops. Either way... he wasn’t quite the same guy after that.
Let me know if you want this in screenplay format or toned up/down in terms of graphic content.
Comentários
Postar um comentário