Causo

 

Scene: The Indian Restaurant – Night

Tony sat across from his associate, Paulie, in a dimly lit Indian restaurant in Newark. The food smelled... different. Aromatic, spicy, unfamiliar.

Tony poked at a piece of chicken soaked in orange sauce.

Tony (grimacing): “What the hell is this? It smells like perfume and feet.”

Paulie (chewing slowly): “It’s called chicken... vesicle? Vindaloo? Somethin’. I dunno. I don’t trust anything with this much color.”

Tony shrugged and took a bite.

Weird texture. Sweet, then burning. Tastes like someone cooked it in cologne. But maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be, Tony thought.

They finished their meal with uneasy faces, paid, and left.

---

Scene: Soprano House – Later That Night

Tony lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. A faint gurgle echoed in his stomach. He wiped sweat from his brow. It wasn’t hot, but he felt like he was boiling.

He rolled over, groaning.

Tony (mumbling): “Oh Christ…”

Carmela stirred beside him.

Carmela (half-asleep): “What is it, Tony? Panic attack again?”

Tony (sitting up, hand on his belly): “No. This ain’t my head. It’s... my stomach. Something’s wrong.”

Suddenly, his eyes widened.

Tony (shouting): “I’m nauseous!”

He flew out of bed with an agility he hadn’t shown in years. Jesus Christ, I’m gonna explode, he thought as he sprinted to the bathroom.

---

Scene: Bathroom – Seconds Later

Tony barely made it. He flung open the toilet lid and puked violently.

Tony (between heaves): “FUCKIN’ chicken… Vesicle! Fuck those Indians!”

He moaned, pulled down his boxers, and plopped onto the toilet. A long, wet blast of diarrhea echoed in the bowl. Farts like cannon fire.

---

Scene: Upstairs Hallway

Carmela stepped into the hallway, still in her robe. The sounds from the bathroom were disgusting and unmistakable. Meadow peeked out of her bedroom door.

Meadow: “What’s going on?”

Carmela (sighing): “Your father’s got food poisoning.”

A.J. appeared behind her. Just as he opened his mouth to ask a question, another violent fart erupted from the bathroom.

A.J. (laughing uncontrollably): “Oh my God! Did you hear that?!”

Meadow (disgusted): “That’s so gross.”

---

Scene: Bathroom – Throughout the Night

Tony sat hunched over, pale, trembling. Alternating between puking and explosive diarrhea. Sweat drenched his face and chest.

Never again. I don’t care how trendy it is. Next time I want foreign food, I’m getting a slice and a Coke.

He had nightmares between waves of sickness — visions of spicy chicken chasing him down an alley, toilets overflowing, Paulie throwing curry in his face.

---

Scene: Tony’s Kitchen – Morning

Tony sat slumped at the kitchen table, sipping Gatorade, looking like death.

He dialed his cell.

Tony: “Paulie.”

Paulie (on the other end, miserable): “Don’t even say it, Tone. I been on the bowl all night. I thought I was gonna die.”

Tony: “We’re goin’ back to that place.”

Paulie: “To eat?!”

Tony: “To kill. That chef’s dead. Dead.”

---

Let me know if you'd like to continue this into the next episode — or adapt it into a screenplay format.

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