Causo

 INT. NASA MEDICAL ROOM – LATER

TANK now sits off to the side in a paper gown, arms folded, face smug. His dignity is bruised, but his humor is back. FRANK is now bent over on the exam table, grumbling as DOCTOR FELL prepares for the next prostate check.

JERRY and HAWK are seated next to TANK, wide-eyed and very entertained.

HAWK
(grinning)
Oof. That’s... a vulnerable angle.

JERRY
Someone get a camera. Frank’s about to give us the moon landing in reverse.

TANK
(smirking)
Oh, how the mighty fall.

FRANK
(shouting from the table)
Shut it, all of you! Don’t make me laugh!

DOCTOR FELL
Please remain still, Frank. Deep breath. You’ll feel a little pressure...

Frank groans. The others wince, but keep laughing.

JERRY
(cheerfully)
Remember, Frank—nothing to be ashamed of!

TANK
(grinning wide)
Easy for you to say!

HAWK
Frank, I think I saw your dignity leave the room just now.

DOCTOR FELL
(stern)
Gentlemen, please. Let’s maintain a level of professionalism. This is a medical procedure.

None of them even pretend to stop. Tank leans toward Hawk.

TANK
What do you think? One finger or two?

HAWK
Looks like three from here.

Frank lets out a mix between a groan and a curse.

FRANK
I hate all of you.

MOMENTS LATER

Now it’s HAWK’s turn. He climbs reluctantly onto the table, clearly nervous.

HAWK
Can we dim the lights? Maybe put on some jazz?

JERRY
Need a scented candle too?

TANK
Don’t worry, Hawk. Just pretend it’s a spacewalk—only someone else is in control.

HAWK
(gritting teeth)
Thanks, that helps nothing.

DOCTOR FELL, as calm as ever, begins the exam.

DOCTOR FELL
And—cough, please.

Hawk obeys with a strangled sound.

JERRY
I think I heard his soul trying to escape.

TANK
(laughing)
Nah, just his pride.

MOMENTS LATER

Now only JERRY remains. Unlike the others, he walks confidently to the table.

JERRY
Gentlemen, you may want to take notes. This is how a real man handles it.

HAWK
Cocky now. Let’s see how you squeal in five seconds.

TANK
Yeah, Jerry. Smile for Doctor Fell.

Jerry bends over, cool as ever.

DOCTOR FELL
You’ve done this before?

JERRY
Only recreationally.

Everyone bursts out laughing. Even DOCTOR FELL cracks a faint smile.

DOCTOR FELL
Let’s just get through this.

AFTER THE EXAMS

The four men now sit in a row, wrapped in gowns, silent and staring blankly at the wall. A beat. Then—

TANK
Still want to go back to space?

FRANK
Only if there’s no medical bay.

HAWK
I’d rather take a spacewalk without a tether.

JERRY
(grinning)
Hey, at least we’re all still... technically intact.

They all groan together.

FADE OUT.

Would you like a follow-up scene—maybe in the locker room, or their next encounter with Doctor Green during a training simulation?


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