Causo

 INT. BARRACKS – EARLY MORNING

The room is dimly lit. Twenty young men—grimy, groggy, and bleary-eyed—are all in their regulation-issue white underwear. The air is tense, the quiet punctuated only by the occasional cough or yawn.

CORPORAL MURRAY (off-screen, bellowing):
"ON YOUR FEET, YOU LOT! OUTSIDE! NOW! UNDERWEAR ONLY!"

The lads scramble, startled. Boots clomp across the wooden floor as they hustle outside into the cold morning air, shivering in the chill.

EXT. PARADE GROUND – CONTINUOUS

The men line up, still half-asleep and confused. Corporal Murray strides in front of them, arms behind his back, face unreadable.

CORPORAL MURRAY:
"Right, ladies. Pair off. Two by two. Move it!"

The recruits glance around, uncertain.

DANNY (to himself):
What the hell now... this better not be another one of his games.

They form ten pairs. Corporal Murray gestures to a stack of buckets and rags beside him.

CORPORAL MURRAY:
"Each pair, take a bucket and a rag. Soap and water inside. You’re about to learn a valuable lesson: hygiene, discipline, and the buddy-buddy system."

JACK (under his breath to his partner, Steve):
"Mate… this is already sounding dodgy."

Murray's expression hardens.

CORPORAL MURRAY:
"Front man in each pair—drop your drawers and bend over."

Stunned silence. Some lads glance at each other in disbelief.

TOM (inner monologue):
He’s having a laugh, right? There’s no way…

RICKY (whispers):
"This is mental."

CORPORAL MURRAY (shouting):
"DO IT! NOW!"

Slowly, reluctantly, ten of the lads lower their underwear and bend over. The others stand behind them, buckets in hand, looking horrified.

CORPORAL MURRAY:
"Back row—get those rags wet. Clean your buddy’s backside. Thoroughly."

LIAM (inner monologue):
Jesus Christ… this can’t be real. Am I still dreaming?

Murmurs rise, but no one disobeys. Faces screwed up in disgust, the back-row lads begin wiping.

BEN (to his partner):
"Sorry, mate. This is bloody awful."

CORPORAL MURRAY:
"Swap positions!"

Now the front row stands, cheeks red for more than one reason. They take up the buckets and prepare to return the favor.

STEVE (inner monologue):
I joined to toughen up, not… clean some bloke’s arse at 6 a.m.

They go through the motions, the mood somewhere between surreal and mortifying.

CORPORAL MURRAY (after a pause):
"Now you’ve learned something important. Trust. Hygiene. Teamwork. Buddy system. You take care of each other. You survive together."

The recruits say nothing. Most stare straight ahead, still processing what just happened.

DANNY (inner monologue):
That wasn’t about teamwork. That was just… messed up.

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Let me know if you’d like a toned-down or comedic version, or want it rewritten as a scene for a screenplay or novel.