Causo

 

John’s First Visit to the Doctor

John’s mind raced as he sat in the cold, sterile waiting room. His stomach churned, but it wasn’t from nerves. The sharp, burning pain in his rectum had been gnawing at him for the last four days. It hurt to sit, it hurt to move, and no matter what he tried, the pain just wouldn’t go away.

He’d ignored it at first, thinking it would get better on its own, but now the thought of ignoring it any longer was unbearable. But the idea of going to the doctor? That brought a different kind of discomfort.

His legs shook slightly as he stood up when his name was called. "John?" The nurse’s voice was polite, but the sound of it only made him more anxious. He followed her down a quiet hallway, trying to steady his breath. His thoughts kept circling back to the same question: Why does it have to be like this? Why do I have to go through this embarrassment?

The nurse stopped in front of a small exam room. “Okay, John. Please take off your clothes and put on the gown. The doctor will be in shortly.” She handed him the gown and left.

John’s stomach twisted again. He stared at the thin fabric in his hands. I just have to get through this, he told himself. Slowly, he undressed, feeling more exposed with every piece of clothing he removed. He pulled the gown over his head, fumbling with the strings in the back, and sat on the bed, trying to breathe through the shame. He felt small, vulnerable, and utterly out of place.

Minutes seemed to stretch on forever until the door finally opened. A young woman stepped inside. She looked around his age, maybe a little younger, and offered him a warm smile.

"Hi, John. I'm Dr. Thompson. How are you doing today?" she asked gently, making an effort to ease the tension in the room.

John couldn’t look her in the eye. He was too embarrassed, too self-conscious. "Uh, not so good," he mumbled, his voice low. "I've been... having this pain. Down there," he said, gesturing vaguely toward his lower back.

Dr. Thompson gave a reassuring nod. “I see. Can you tell me more about the pain?”

He shifted in his seat, his face flushing. “It’s, uh, in my... my rectum,” he admitted quietly. “It started a few days ago. It’s sharp and burning, especially when I sit or move around. It’s... it’s just really bad.”

“Thank you for sharing that,” Dr. Thompson said. “We’re going to figure out what’s going on. I need to perform a physical exam to check for any issues. I know it can be uncomfortable, but I’ll guide you through everything. Does that sound okay?”

John’s heart sank. He nodded but couldn’t help the tight knot that formed in his chest. I’m going to have to bend over. In front of her. A woman. This is so humiliating.

“Okay,” John muttered, unable to bring himself to speak any louder.

Dr. Thompson smiled again, sensing his unease. “You’re doing great. Let’s get you comfortable.” She gestured to the exam bed. “I’ll need you to bend over the bed for the exam, John. It’ll help me check things more thoroughly.”

John felt his face flush deeper. The thought of bending over in front of a woman was mortifying. This is so embarrassing. I can't believe this is happening.

He hesitated for a moment, his mind racing with anxiety. But the pain in his body reminded him that this was something he had to do. Reluctantly, he stood and shuffled to the edge of the bed. As he bent over, he couldn’t stop thinking about how exposed he felt. His hands gripped the edge of the bed, his muscles tight with tension.

Dr. Thompson moved to the side to prepare the necessary supplies. “It’s going to be uncomfortable, but I’ll try to make it as quick as possible,” she reassured him.

Just breathe. It’s for your health. It’s not as bad as you think. John repeated the words in his mind, trying to calm himself down. But it wasn’t easy. He felt completely vulnerable, and the thought of being in this position in front of a woman only made it worse.

He heard the soft sound of the doctor preparing the lubricating gel, and his stomach churned. I can’t believe this is happening. I just want it to be over.

“Okay, John,” Dr. Thompson said in a soft, calming voice. “I’m going to apply some lubrication now. It might feel a little cold, but just try to relax. We’ll get through this quickly.”

John’s face burned. Relax? How am I supposed to relax in this position?

He tried to take slow, steady breaths as the doctor gently administered the gel. He could feel his body tense involuntarily, but he forced himself to stay still, to focus on something, anything, other than the awkwardness of the situation.

After a few moments, Dr. Thompson spoke again. “Alright, John, I’m going to begin the rectal exam now. Just breathe and try to stay as calm as you can.”

John felt a mixture of humiliation and relief. The exam wasn’t nearly as painful as he feared, though it was still uncomfortable. His mind raced with embarrassment, but he knew this was necessary.

As the exam ended, Dr. Thompson stepped back and gave him a reassuring smile. “You’re doing great, John. I know that was difficult, but it’s important to find out what’s going on. We’ll run some tests to get a better picture of what’s causing the pain. In the meantime, I’ll make sure you get the right treatment.”

John exhaled slowly, his body finally relaxing. The exam was over, and though he still felt a sense of vulnerability, the worst part was behind him.

"Thank you," he said softly, still not quite able to meet her eyes.

“You’re welcome,” Dr. Thompson said. “You did really well. We’ll get you sorted out soon.”

As she left the room, John stayed there for a moment, processing everything. The embarrassment, the discomfort, the vulnerability. But he also realized that facing all of it meant he was on his way to getting better. And maybe, just maybe, that was worth the awkwardness.

---

This version emphasizes John’s vulnerability in the situation while focusing on his internal struggle and eventual relief. The pain is described as being in his rectum, and the exam position of bending over is treated sensitively, emphasizing his discomfort and emotional journey. How does this feel to you? Would you like to make any more changes?

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