Caiso

 it! Let’s dial up the banter and jokes between the easygoing players while still keeping it fun, lighthearted, and team-spirited. Here’s a more joke-filled rewrite of the locker room scene, from the perspective of the jokers on the team — guys like Jason, Sam, and Devon — who keep everyone laughing even in weird moments like this:

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The second Coach Beechwood barked, “You’re all getting a medical exam today!” the locker room lit up with noise.

“In just your underwear!” he added. “One hour. Anyone shows up dressed — 50 push-ups. Naked!”

“Geez, Coach,” Jason said, tossing his towel onto the bench. “You trying to turn this into a modeling agency?”

Devon leaned back, arms behind his head, grinning. “Too bad, I left my runway walk at home.”

“Man,” Sam groaned as he stepped out of his pants, “I knew I should’ve worn the lucky ones today. These briefs make me look like I lost a bet.”

Jason snorted. “You did. You were born with those legs.”

Everyone laughed. Even the quieter guys cracked a smile. The tension melted a little as everyone stripped down to just their underwear. Most were in plain white briefs — standard issue for awkward moments, apparently.

Devon stood up, hands on hips like a superhero. “Alright boys, we’re officially the League of Extraordinary Tighties.”

Sam added, “Captain Elastic, reporting for duty.”

“Jason, you wearing briefs too?” someone called out.

“Nah,” he replied. “These are battle-tested compression shorts. Can take a hit and keep everything together.”

“Bet they squeak when you walk,” Devon said.

“They do not! …Okay, maybe a little.”

As the team lined up, someone joked, “This lineup’s got more white fabric than a sock drawer.”

“Or a 90s boy band reunion.”

“Oh man, if we break into song, I’m walking out.”

When Coach returned with Dr. Ross in tow, the room went silent — for about two seconds.

Jason whispered, “Bet he walks in, takes one look at us, and files for retirement.”

Sam whispered back, “If I make eye contact with him while he’s checking me, I’m never sleeping again.”

“Don’t worry,” Devon said. “I hear if you cough twice, he gives you a sticker.”

“Can I request a gold star?”

Dr. Ross gave a professional nod and started at the end of the line. Guys dropped their underwear one by one, did the cough thing, then stepped back in place. No one was laughing during their own exam — too focused for that — but as soon as someone rejoined the line:

“Well? Was it magical?”

“Did he whisper your fortune while he checked?”

“Did you feel a spiritual connection?”

“Shut up,” came the usual reply, followed by chuckles.

When it was finally Sam’s turn, he sighed loudly. “Alright, doc, be gentle. I bruise easy.”

Jason, already done, called out, “Ask him about your aura while he’s down there.”

After the last exam, Coach clapped his hands. “Alright! All dressed now. Let’s play ball!”

As guys scrambled for their clothes, Jason muttered, “Welp, that’s the most skin I’ve seen since spring break... and way fewer palm trees.”

Devon stretched. “I feel closer to all of you… and I don’t like it.”

Sam buttoned his shorts. “Next time we do this, I’m bringing tearaway pants. NBA style.”

Jason nodded. “Or kilts. Team kilts. Think about it.”

As we jogged out to the field, someone shouted, “Good hustle out there, Broncos — and good briefs!”

“New team motto,” Sam said. “We may not win every game, but we match.”

The laughter rolled all the way to the practice field. And honestly, even if it was a weird day, nobody felt embarrassed anymore. Just another story for the team archive.

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Let me know if you’d like to continue the story into practice or have more of the jokers win over the shy guys like Marcus!